Thursday, April 1, 2010

a SMASHING good time!

i had my yearly mammogram this morning. now, that is a fun way to spend 20 minutes! yeah, it's unpleasant but, thank goddess, it doesn't take long.
in order to commemorate the event, i have a bit of mammogram humor for you.

first, a couple favorite quotes:

"whoever thought up the word mammogram? every time i hear it, i think i'm supposed to put my breast in an envelope and send it to someone." jan king

"a few weeks after my surgery, i went out to play catch with my golden retriever. when i bent over to pick up the ball, my prosthesis fell out. the dog snatched it, and i found myself chasing him down the road yelling, 'hey, come back here with my breast!' " linda ellerbee

and now, a poem:

just between us girls
*author unknown

For years and years they told me,
" Be careful of your breasts.
Don't ever squeeze or bruise them
And give them monthly tests."

So I heeded all their warnings
and protected them by law.
Guarded them very carefully
And always wore a bra.

After 40 years of careful care
The doctor found a lump.
He ordered up a mammogram
To look inside that clump.

"Stand up very close," she said,
as she got my breast in line.
" And tell me when it hurts," she said
" Ah, yes! There! That's just fine."

She stepped upon a pedal,
I could not believe my eyes!
A plastic plate was pressing down,
My boob was in a vise!

My skin was stretched and stretched
From way up by my chin.
My poor breast was being squashed
To Swedish Pancake thin!

Excruciating pain I felt,
within its viselike grip.
A prisoner in this vicious thing,
My poor defenseless tit."

Take a deep breath," she said to me.
Who does she think she's kidding?
My chest is smashed in her machine,
I can't breath and weary I am getting.

"There, that was good," I heard her say,
as the room was swaying.
" Now let's get the other one".
" Lord have mercy," I was praying.

I had no problem when I came in,
I surely have one now.
If there had been a cyst in there,
It would have popped by now.

This machine was made by man,
Of this I have no doubt!
I'd like to get his balls in there
And listen to him shout !!!

hahaha funny, yes, but breast cancer prevention is a serious issue. please get your mammograms, and tell them aurorafedora sent ya!

click on image to go to the breast cancer site and donate a click and please join your local relay-for-life

grateful that:
1. my mom survived breast cancer
2. the trees are budding and blooming
3. t.willie bounces back from minor injuries quickly...and often


  1. Thanks for the reminder. Gotta make my appointment now.

  2. Excellent post!! Funny, but not...

    My cancer was found 19 years ago when I had my first mammogram. It's SO important to have yours!

    Thanx, Aurora, for reminding everyone and for making us laugh, too!

  3. I had mine too! The only good thing about being so large late in life is that I can just plop my girls on the table. The lady was nice enough to remind me that if I have a reduction as I would like - my yearly mammo is gonna hurt!!

  4. Yep! Up here we call it "buddy to buddy" program -- reminding each other to do our monthly self exams and also to get our mammograms. Thanks for the reminder here too!
    :) Mollie