a SMASHING good time!

i had my yearly mammogram this morning. now, that is a fun way to spend 20 minutes! yeah, it's unpleasant but, thank goddess, it doesn't take long.
in order to commemorate the event, i have a bit of mammogram humor for you.

first, a couple favorite quotes:

"whoever thought up the word mammogram? every time i hear it, i think i'm supposed to put my breast in an envelope and send it to someone." jan king

"a few weeks after my surgery, i went out to play catch with my golden retriever. when i bent over to pick up the ball, my prosthesis fell out. the dog snatched it, and i found myself chasing him down the road yelling, 'hey, come back here with my breast!' " linda ellerbee

and now, a poem:

just between us girls
*author unknown

For years and years they told me,
" Be careful of your breasts.
Don't ever squeeze or bruise them
And give them monthly tests."

So I heeded all their warnings
and protected them by law.
Guarded them very carefully
And always wore a bra.

After 40 years of careful care
The doctor found a lump.
He ordered up a mammogram
To look inside that clump.

"Stand up very close," she said,
as she got my breast in line.
" And tell me when it hurts," she said
" Ah, yes! There! That's just fine."

She stepped upon a pedal,
I could not believe my eyes!
A plastic plate was pressing down,
My boob was in a vise!

My skin was stretched and stretched
From way up by my chin.
My poor breast was being squashed
To Swedish Pancake thin!

Excruciating pain I felt,
within its viselike grip.
A prisoner in this vicious thing,
My poor defenseless tit."

Take a deep breath," she said to me.
Who does she think she's kidding?
My chest is smashed in her machine,
I can't breath and weary I am getting.

"There, that was good," I heard her say,
as the room was swaying.
" Now let's get the other one".
" Lord have mercy," I was praying.

I had no problem when I came in,
I surely have one now.
If there had been a cyst in there,
It would have popped by now.

This machine was made by man,
Of this I have no doubt!
I'd like to get his balls in there
And listen to him shout !!!

hahaha funny, yes, but breast cancer prevention is a serious issue. please get your mammograms, and tell them aurorafedora sent ya!

click on image to go to the breast cancer site and donate a click and please join your local relay-for-life

grateful that:
1. my mom survived breast cancer
2. the trees are budding and blooming
3. t.willie bounces back from minor injuries quickly...and often