Monday, April 18, 2011

oh BLOODY HELL!!!!!!

image courtesy of

why why WHY do i DO these things????????? i mean, isn't life tough enough without the universe messing with us? here's what i mean... day last week, i decided to break down and do some cleaning. i know, i know, you're thinking "hey, that's not like her. is it a full moon? is the world coming to an end? will life as we know it, fail to exist??" well, i blame the old "spring cleaning" mentality. it's our mothers and grandmothers who are to blame. i mean, they know not what they have done! we feel the pressure this time of year to do CRAZY things like clean cobwebs and dust ceiling fan blades and stuff. it's just not right!

so, there i was washing up a few dishes at the kitchen sink and i thought "hey, maybe i should wipe down the stove a bit. that thick layer of crud just might come off with a little elbow grease!" so i dipped the cloth in some hot ammonia water and commenced to scrubbing. the cook top was looking good, even the back of the stove was free of greasy gunk. so i stretched down over the oven door surface and was wiping away at that when i heard this "SNAP" sound and there i was, holding the door handle in my hand. just the door handle, like, with NO door attached! apparently, as i reached farther down the oven surface, i grabbed onto the door handle for support. BIG mistake.

oh man!!!! it just serves me right for thinking that cleaning was a good idea!! i am sorry to tell ya, that, at that precise moment, there was such a string of bad words issuing forth from my pie hole, it woulda made a sailor blush!

now i know, you are thinking "yes, that sounds like her!" so, my day thus far had not been going well and now i broke my stove. broke it REAL good. so i did what i always do when life hands me a crap muffin, i went and cried on my bed. but only for maybe five minutes. then i put my big girl panties on and went back out to the kitchen to finish cleaning up. and maybe there was some feeling-sorry-for-myself mumbling going on and maybe not...

when bilbo came home, i showed him the stove. he immediately looked around for t.willie, as if to yell at him for what he'd done. it was at that moment that i thought "YES! i can blame it on t.w!!!"  but i didn't, i fessed up. bilbo went right onto the internet and found the part he needed to replace the part that the handle attached to. YAY!! and it was fairly cheap too! cheaper anyway, than a new stove.

notice anything missing?

impressive, i know!

B is for broken stove.

so the moral of this story, my friends, is: don't go crazy and clean.
no good can come from it.
i know you'll thank me.

grateful for:
1. my hubby
2. the internet
3. cheap replacement parts


  1. I agree with you completely. No good can come of it! I figure that with the oven at will eventually all turn to ashes and maybe blow away or something

  2. You had me cracking up Juggy. Anyone who can use "crap muffin" and "big girl panties" in one paragraph is one talented writer!

  3. OMG!! I can't stop laughing. My spring cleaning is just about done and the entire process has been boringly uneventful. Must be the generational difference...

  4. How boring that Suz is event-free with her Spring cleaning! LOL I much prefer your "blue" version, and am prompted to go look for my own "big girl's pants". This does NOT mean I am introducing Autumn or Fall Cleaning to an already crowded aganda! LOL and LOL. Love ya, kiddo, chin up :) Hugz. xx

  5. You are soooo funny a crap muffin oh I am gonna use that one!! My friend and I were just discussing sailors and cursing and decided, we would put them to shame on a regular day no stove handle required. That's the Yankee in you, honey!! LOL!!!! Glad it is fixed though!!

  6. Not cleaning here. And I generally stay away from the stove anyway.
    Good luck w/the repair!

  7. the stove part came this morning, bilbo fixed it this afternoon! he rawks!

  8. Hi Jo! I found your blog thru Donna's blog...I am grateful that I have! I loved this post!!!


  9. So true that nothing good ever comes from it (cleaning, that is) how you tell a story Joanne, although I'm sorry you broke your stove. Glad the hubby found a part on the interwebs. Mine just ordered me a side mirror for my car, as I smashed mine off on someone's rudely placed garbage can at 40 mph. Love the internet - it's got everything!